Hokkien Jokes a.k.a Siao Lang Stories

Joke#1
Ah Lian called big brother Ah Beng over the telephone.
Lian: "Ah Beng kor, I can't get my new jig saw puzzle fixed, mah-chiam all the edges cannot fix together, lah.
Beng: "Jig saw puzzle si mi picture, ha?""
Lian: "The box show a big rooster, kanna like the one in talkingcock.com."
Beng: "Okay, lah, okay, lah. I come over to tor-long lu, lah."
Ah Beng arrives at Ah Lian's place, where she happily leads him to the kitchen table where the jigsaw puzzle is.Ah Beng examines the puzzle and says, "Si ghee na, si bay gong, put back the corn flakes into the box, lah."
Joke#2
Dr. Quek made a routine house call to Mr. Lim, one of his elderly patients.He asks, "And how are you doing today, Mr. Lim?"Mr. Lim replies, "I feel just fine, doc. But you know, it's the strangest thing. Every night when I get up to pang jio, the bathroom light goes on for me automatically when I open the door!"The doctor is worried that the old man is getting senile, so he phones the man's son, and the son's wife answers.The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Lim, I'm a little concerned about your father-in-law. It seems that when he gets up to urinate at night and opens the bathroom door, the light somehow goes on..."At which point, Mrs. Lim yells, "Aiyoh, Ah Seng! Ah Pa pang jio in the fridge again!"
Joke#3
QUESTION: How do you know frogs are Hokkien?
ANSWER : Because when it's cold, they go "kwah, kwah, kwah".
QUESTION : How do Hokkien prawns laugh?
ANSWER: Hae hae hae (hokkien for prawns)
QUESTION: How do Hokkien fish laugh?
ANSWER : Hu hu hu (hokkien for fish)And here is a classic..............
QUESTION : What's the difference between Ang-mor and Hokkien fairy tales?
ANSWER: Ang-mor fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..."and Hokkien fairy tales begin with "Lim Peh ka li kong..."

Written on Sunday, April 30, 2006 at 1:36 PM


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Sam dgn Dol = Malaysia's "Dumb & Dumber"

SAM: Kenapa kamu cakap minum susu segarboleh bawa maut?
DOL: Sebab semalam semasa aku tengah minum,lembu tu terajang aku. Nasib baik tak mati.
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SAM: Apasal ko marah kat tokey kedai 2 Ringgit tu?
DOL: Sebab dia tipu. Aku beli 3 barang dia mintak6 ringgit.Kata kedai 2 Ringgit
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SAM: Kau kata binatang peliharaan kau mati lemas?Mana kau tau dia mati lemas?
DOL: Sebab aku bela ikan emas. aku jumpa ia mati dalam air!===================================
SAM: Semalam aku nampak hantu!
DOL: Uih! kau terkejut tak?
SAM: Taklah.... hantu tu yang terkejut tengok aku.
DOL: Mana kau tahu?SAM: Aku tengok muka dia pucat semacamjer....
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SAM: Apasal kopi yang kau buat ni rasa masin?
DOL: Gula dah habis!
SAM: Yang kau pergi campur garam apasal?
DOL: Kan aku kata, sebab gula dah habislah!
===================================
SAM: Aku tengok kau beberapa hari ini "candlelightdinner" dengan bini kau, mesti dia suka.
DOL: Dia marahlah. Aku lupa nak bayar bil elektrik,api rumah aku dah kena potong!===================================
SAM: Aku ada AIDS? mana ada...
DOL: Aku baca 1 dari 10 orang kat Negara ni ada aids.Aku dah tanya 9 orang, semua tak ada aids, kau orangke 10, takpayah tanya, aku dah tahu...
===================================
SAM: Dol, aku dengar bunyi batuk kau makinteruk!
DOL: Iya ke? kalau macam ni aku kena banyak berlatih agardapat batuk dengan lebih baik lagi.
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SAM: Dah dua kali perompak yang sama datang merompakkedai kita.
DOL: Tu lah aku dah cakap kat kau, jangan pasang signboard"SILA DATANG"

Written on at 1:28 PM


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wedding bells 4 love ones

halor,well i just came back from a wedding dinner at peh teck school 4 a wedding of my mum's fren's son.well it's a portugis wedding wit many portugis people attending the occation...my 1st impression...y those chickz wearing their clothes like not enuf KAIN...reallt its like goin 2 a disco or pub but worst than dat..its like super short n not enuf KAIN at all!!!enough on condeming them...who cares wat they wear...is their own wish,am i right???
Later dat day i got a little drunk cuz i had a few glasses of beer...thn 2 make my food really digest so had a walk at jonker...(cuz the school is near jonker)take a ice night walk there...bought dinsum 4 supper.huhuhu...
after d walk drive my mum back..haha..both of us r kinda of drunk a little but dun worry i noe is illegal 2 drive home(drink n drive)but i manage 2 drive back savely...

Written on at 12:05 AM


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webpage dunno how 2 do....

sumbody need to help me!!!oh my god.....really need 2 struggle 2 do my webpage(pca assignment)hard.......huhuhu....very tired as well because this week we jes finis our business project sellin stuff 4 appreciation week...as the same time broke as well..sudah bankrup...spend money like waterfall...jes 2 giv faces to frens.....heehehe...baikan i.....
this week sum of my frens will b sitting MUET examnation..so to those who r siting it all d best...!!i'll b praying 4 u guys....hehehe...
kla lets stop d craps around here...babai

Written on Friday, April 28, 2006 at 8:11 PM


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BAD DAY....

"Bad Day"

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day

Written on Friday, April 21, 2006 at 10:46 AM


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mmu parking lot sux!!!hates d it so much.

now i noe why ppl always said dat MMU is a MONEY MAKing University!!why i said dat bcuz d parking system damn SUXz man...always full nvr empty.dun say empty-lah cuz will nvr b empty 1..but wat can i say is not ENUF car park ...either for student or staff as well!!!
once(1st time) dat is this sem oso{3rd sem}i kena compound under mmu security 4 parking at d wrong place!!HELLO i din noe dat was staff car park so i park lah...
Who noes my car kena lock thn nvrm addition kena compound by mmu security!!rm 30 man..
thn now tis 1 plak...dun say little man tis time i park at d roadside cuz no space d so kena saman oso tis time RM100. sampat d me...angin no gud d!!!

Written on Thursday, April 20, 2006 at 8:14 PM


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thanks for celebrating my BIRTHDAY!!!




After 4 days after my birthday only get 2 post d pictures.Actually my Birthday falls on 15 April 'bersamaan' Malacca Public Holiday...!!!Yeah-Yeah...
Hence i would like to take this opportunity to THANK to Sebastian,Calvin,LeeChuan,Siewling,JueYee,MeauShin,PikLian,Jo'N,SiangChi,Suzanne,Lam,Jesie,Sharminey,HuiYen,Shin,SiewQi,Rachel,XiuChin,and Adi.Thank u guys 4 d Birthday wishes n present + surprises u guys did 4 me!!~REally Touch~

This are a few pic while we're celebrating at SIMPLY FISH,14 April 2006.~1.30 p.m.~

Sebastian with his DRink 'PINK LADY'

doin his normal rutine...intertaining us

which ketchup u 1??very suitable 4 advertisment!!


aiyo drink oso 1na smile ka?


nice not d cake??

cut,cut,cut...

well this are some of d posing maut while makan time..."makan still maintain their posing skills"



lastly,thanks 4 all d surprises n d lovely present

Written on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 at 9:50 PM


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steambot syok...









After moral paper we{Khim,Hee,Ying Keng,Joanne Lai,Pik Lian,Lee Chuan,Sebastian,Calvin,Meau Shin,Shiang Chi,Jue Yee,Rachel,Lam and myself} went 4 steambot at Melaka Raya..its Famosa steambot!
Moral paper suxz big times so while v having our steambot v stil discussing bour dat paper...simply sad but its over d...no use think bout it!!!Better eat...

while eating u can see so many patterns of these peoples...

lots of FOOdon d table...does it makes ur stomach hungry??


Meau Shin n Calvin enjoying their MEAL...


LAm ,Khim N Hee posing while waiting their 2 b cook by....


ops..MOUTH full!!!


Look at me...laughin at the way..lc d coolest posing vit her food n drinks


how cum Sebastian face like dat??wonder why!!

peace any1?


keh ,poh ,chi...teeth competition!!


Pik Lian and KHim


any food stuck on my teeth??nolah...u all fair like snow white got lah...

After steambot,v plan go 2 AH MOH TEH but thr full house d..till no place 2 sit..so orcording 2 plan B..go JONKER lah... altho thr's nothing much at jonker but v stil hav our exercise after d full dish during d steambot.

HEnce,after all d waling v end up havin a bowl of Malaysian delicacy..that is CENDOL..all of our stomach full tanked til kenot walk, only decided to go home..

Written on Friday, April 14, 2006 at 7:42 PM


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broke entitle...

After all d buzy-ness at last went to Mp after so long din hav a visit thr.i noe sum of u might jes say"wat so nice go Mp,sien man...every time go til sienz liou"..Dat frase quite femiliar 2 me cuz i oso said dat many times b4....hahaha....but since nvr been quite a long time so go la...
Dat 1 oso Lee Chuan invite me go cuz 1na watch movie..so dat very day went vit Sebastian,Calvin,Leechuan,yingkheng,Meaushin,Johnson and Shoupin(wat ever d name is cuz i dun really noe his name ^calvin's hs mate)..
surposely watchin Mahjong Master but at last no ticket lor..haiyo then no other alternative so watch 'Don't open your eyes'~is a momok movie...
as u all noe i dun watch scary movies cuz im a little coward or timid ..but hav 2 watch oso...terpaksa giv my frens face ma..takan 1na advoid it ...til when wor,Rite!!!

bowling was fun game..but i lost oso..jatuh standard....school player but lost oso..;p
the Winner of the day...{Meau shin} d 2nd place is Calvin n 3rd is Sebastian...i lost 2 Sebastian by 4 pins...huhuhu:( buts its ok afteral its a game ma...enjoyable games vit lots of patterns....
last but not lease~~~SWEET MEMORIES LAST 4-VA~~~

Written on Wednesday, April 12, 2006 at 1:35 PM


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big spec in PM13...a trend or wat???

gud evening every1...this time let me present 2 u a special edition on PM13 lead by me, myself and i...Miss.$herlin Tan...huhuhu...

in lecture class posing "MAUT" vit dat big spec...but PLEASE dun call me 'tah chieh'

does he look like 'CHicken LitTle'??wonder y LeeChuan said so!!this is CAlvin.Lim

wat r u lookin at??wanna Kena from me ka??MIss.Ying Kheng...

aiyo old d la..spec oso dropin liou..aisey man must adjust liou..paiseh-paiseh..=Piklian


my 60's style is d best among all*Miss Hannah Ding


smile -smile twink twink*****Desiree^_^


oi i think u all 'perasan la' =miss. Jo'N


if there's a Beauty pageant i sure gerenti WIN MIa.not like d Chicken Little-lee chuan


~hahaha..dream on beauty pageant konon....=meau shin


miss Snow white of Pm13 as a conclusion....peace every one^O^~siang chi

Written on Monday, April 10, 2006 at 5:44 PM


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LEEHOM IN PAY FONG MALACCA LAST MONTH


Last month Wang Lee Hom came down Malacca 4 d 1st time ever and held a mini concert (about 30 minutes) at PAY FONG school.Actually i never thought of going 2 his concert but since my mum got his ticket(her fren gave her FOC) so go la..afterall its free..if not wasted nih...
The best part was..I dunno his song and i not say very MINAT him la jes go 4 fun..."not say every time can c celeb rite"so after he sang his songs i got hooked on his "KISS GOODBYE".1st time heard terus like....his appearance looks better personaly rather than in those pics or posters...
This pic given by a fren who were sitting at the VIP's seat hope u guys enjoy it..

"sing 2gether u guys"


Ain't he gud lookin???

Written on at 5:30 PM


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very siens...study &study makes me sampat d!!

aiyo...everyday study...study till i can go crazy.....exam 4 english oso hav 2 study...then Moral pulak...dunno wats d purpose v hav 2 study moral cuz bukannye v all ni tak bermoral !!!!
Moral very hard la...read n do own notes oso still feels like nvr read cuz all read tak masuk otak 1...keksim oooo :(veli worried liou...dunno can scored in my moral not....bukan apa takut kena screwed buat kali ke-3 atau ke-4....
kalau dah penat nak blajar this is my reconmendation.....
visit this web

this are a few website that u all can read when u all boring giler atau got nothing else 2 do.....sekian trerima kasih..

ps: please pray 4 my moral ya...hahaha...wish me luck...babai....

Written on Tuesday, April 04, 2006 at 11:09 AM


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